Iyangar Provides a Restorative Antidote to Power Yoga

awkward_pose_3-001In my quest to explore different types of yoga, I took a 75-minute restorative Iyangar class at Om Namo in Cambridge with Ally McAlpin. Four students met in an unheated.  We began class with our mats short end to the wall, a folding chair against the wall, a blanket folded square on the chair seat, another blanket on our mat, folded long ways three times, then wrapped on the short end to form a cushion. We laid our pelvis on the mat, put the tri-folded blanket to the bottom of our lumbar, and the refolded portion under our head. We set our knees ninety degrees to our hips, and extended our shins onto the chair.  It took some adjustment to get in the right place, but once there, it was a very relaxing position.  I put my arms in cactus, then heart and belly, but finally laid them along my torso. Arm position did not seem important compared to getting our spine gently supported in all the right places to achieve neutral balance.

Neutral balance was the theme of this class. As we struck different poses, the less I felt in a specific location in my body, the better I felt in general.  Each pose was about finding alignment and balance. Not balance in the sense of, wheeee, I’m standing on one foot, but balance in the sense of my entire body finding a place of equality.

Sally uses ample props to help us get there. We used our mats, a chair, two blankets, a huge bolster, two straps, a tennis ball, and a pair of blocks to help us execute a series of poses. Most of the time Sally didn’t give the positions names, and if she did, they did not align with the names used in power yoga.  To be sure, we did nothing as jarring as a chaturanga or inversion.  What Sally described as downward dog was our feet hip width apart and our hands stretched onto the seat of the chair.  Instead of creating compression in my shoulder, the posture gave a wonderful release to that complicated joint.

Sally used generous metaphors to guide our positions. At various times she suggested that we soften the back of our heart, peel our shoulders like thick grapefruit rind, and pull a jewel in our navel back to our spine. The grapefruit imagery left me baffled but the jewel metaphor was very effective in helping me locate and tighten my core. There was a recurring theme of our kidneys being like potatoes. Since I don’t know exactly where my kidneys are, or what they feel like, and I don’t like potatoes, I just ignored that metaphor. I had no idea what I was supposed to do in response to her most evocative image, “Let the skin on your back drape like a silk shirt.” It made me feel kinda creepy.

Ultimately, I thought Sally’s imagery had more to do with setting a tone than describing physical movement. I felt centered throughout class and experienced moments of tactile delight.  Rolling our feet over a tennis ball, massaging our arches, convexing our toes, and identifying an energy point just north of our heel stimulated my entire hamstring.

Even in poses I consider elementary, we used props: a bolster to cushion our underarms in sphinx: the same bolster beneath our knees in sabasana.  These aides eliminated all pressure off of my lumbar arch, providing full support and ease.

The class was a wonderful anecdote to power yoga.  It made me realize the ‘fitness-focus’ of our elaborate routines; how much effort we put into every pose – even the so-called rest poses.  There are times that expending so much energy can work against us. Which made it nice, on a snowy day, to give myself the gift of restorative calm.

images

 

Posted in Yoga | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coke Zero: My Addiction

vitruvian_man-001Ah, my botched attempts at healthy living. There it is at #4 of the14 Foods You Should Never Eat – Diet Soda. Why can’t I just give up the 24 ounces of unpronounceable chemicals infused with bubbles that I swallow every day? I’ve tried.  Sometimes I go two or even three days without.  I drink less of it when I travel. I went over two weeks without soda Cambodia and didn’t miss it, much.  But within a week of returning to the old US of A I was pop-topping cans again.

I drink two 12-ounce diet sodas a day, usually in the morning, usually back-to-back.  Mostly Coke Zero, sometimes Diet Coke, or Diet Dr. Pepper. I’ll even resort to Diet Pepsi if I am trapped in the window seat of a second tier airline that offers nothing else.

A few months ago, when I left regular work and was enthusiastic about all forms of self-improvement, I tried drinking coffee instead of diet soda.  I’ve never been a coffee drinker.  After about two weeks of a half mug of brew each morning I acquired a taste for java. I’ll have a cup if it’s handy, but I don’t like it enough to make my own. And it doesn’t satiate my craving for soda.  It’s not just the caffeine, it’s the cold, and the bubbles, and the acidic trickle down my throat that might be coating me with cancer, or just burning holes in my esophagus. That’s what I crave.

Not only crave, but give into, day after day. I have good habits. I sleep well; eat well (aside from a few too many sweets), little alcohol, no drugs, healthy weight, crazy exercise.  I’m proud of the fact that my doctor is proud of me. Still, I’m done in by the crystalline snap of carbonation releasing fizz, pouring it over a huge glass of ice, gauging how much foam I can create before it gushes over the sides.

A couple of years ago I witnessed a surgery as part of a hospital renovation project. A woman younger than me was having a kidney transplant.  “Why?” I asked the circulating nurse.  “Probably too many Cokes,” she told me. “That stuff’ll kill you.” It will for sure if you’re a rat and drink like twenty cans a day. The toll on humans who drink moderately is still up for debate, though no one argues this stuff is any good for us.

Perhaps I could quit if I really wanted to, but truth is, I don’t really want to quit. I like my soda. I’m a human, humans are irrational, we’re fully foibled. We have impulses that shout: Bubbles today! and ignore death by stomach etching tomorrow.

So I drink my soda without guilt. I don’t worry about the future angina it may cause me.  I enjoy it in the moment. Very much.

IMG_0553

My stash in the  basement

IMG_0555

My shelf in the refrigerator

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Return to Bikram Yoga

awkward_pose_3-001Six months after stopping Bikram cold turkey, I return to the Friday 6:00 am class on a cold, clear March morning. For months the idea formed an anxious knot in my brain; the longer I stayed away the more convinced I became that I wouldn’t be able to bear the heat, that a ninety minute class would be an eternity, and that my postures would be lame shadows of past triumphs.   I put off going as my anxiety grew, even as my resolve to return  grew strong.

Sometimes it’s easier to let serendipity guide our actions.  One Thursday evening my shoulder was sore from too many chaturanga’s. I needed a hot class without shoulder work, so I decided impromptu to return to Bikram.

Riding my bike in the early morning light I psych myself into confidence. Jo greets me at the desk, a cheerful woman who was a student friend before she became a teacher two years ago. When I walk into the hot room the blast of heat is an old comrade rather than an enemy. The class is small and I take my favored spot in the second row, to the right of the teacher, under the fan.  Time evaporates, habits resurface, everything feels familiar; how to lay the mat across the black line, how to arrange my towels, where to place my water bottle. I stand to the mirror and consider doing my usual Bikram warm-up: half moon sways and standing separate leg stretching pose, followed by seated twists, but for some reason I forgo the warm-up (which was never necessary since its so warm).  I simply lay on my mat, head to the mirror, and concentrate on my breath.  This is the first sign that this class is not only going to be different because I’ve been gone for six months. It is going to be different because during those six months, my yoga has evolved.

Jo greets the class, stands on the podium, and begins the dialogue. Jo lacks the drill sergeant demeanor of many Bikram instructors; her voice is sing-song and her enthusiasm for our effort eclipses criticisms of our shortcomings.  Pranayama breathing feels good, deep in my lungs, though my arms do not rise as far as they did. I attribute that to my sore shoulder. My half-moons are adequate, but my Padahastasana goes deep. My hands are firm under my feet, my head is tight to my shins, my hamstrings are taut and high.  It feels great. By the time we reach Awkward Pose I am in the zone, my front focus keen.

The room doesn’t seem too hot. The thermostat’s reflection reveals 110 degrees and 19 percent humidity; proof again that humidity withers us more than mere degrees. Doing each pose twice feels like luxury rather than a chore.  By the time we finish the introductory sequence all anxiety has dissipated; I am going to be fine.

During break, I scan my old studio in Harvard Square and compare it to my new yoga  home.  The carpet, a signature Bikram feature, is musty compared to CorePower’s slick wood floors. The heat and humidity controls are haphazard; 104 degrees and 40 percent humidity at CorePower are consistent. And the clientele, five men and five women, more than half regulars from my former practice, are decades older than the twenty-somethings that skew the demographic of every CorePower class

During standing series, I realize not only am I fine, I am different.  In Standing Head to Knee my lower back extends very far. I fall out before the end, but don’t sweat it. My Standing Bow is deep, my Balance Stick is straight and effortless. On the first round of Standing Separate Leg Stretching my head gets close to my towel. I’ve never been able to touch my head to the mat, and I wonder if today I have the full extension in me.  Second try I spread the legs wide, grip my hands to my heels, kick the heels out pigeon-like and let my arms and gravity pull my head toward the mat.  Just before Jo calls for us to rise, my head lands on my towel. Not a mere graze, my noggin plants itself to the floor. Touching my head to the floor is so comfortable I wonder what I’d been doing during more than 2,500 previous attempts. As I rise, I appreciate the variety pack of yoga I’ve embraced over the past six months. My added arm strength and opened hips enable me to finally nail this most elusive of postures.

After this success, the remainder of class is one long victory lap. I breathe deep. I bend and arc. I laugh at Jo’s jokes. She mentions how she’s missed me at my spot.  Spine strengthening is wonderful. I am in no rush to leave. Patience and ease open up every pose. The temperature hits 115, the humidity tops 30%, but nothing fazes me.

After I shower and change I chat with folks I know; the conversations one has bumping into old school friends. I describe my switch to CorePower, they give a sweet but knowing smile. To Bikram devotees, I have sold out.  But I don’t buy it.  Bikram is a  valuable but narrow view of the yoga world. I thought I might not be able to withstand its rigor after dabbling in so many alternatives.  But the opposite proved true. The physical variety and mental ease I’ve been experiencing actually helped my Bikram practice.

I might return to Bikram again, but I’ll never worry about whether or not I can do it. I also know that though different, other forms of yoga are not second best.

 

Posted in Yoga | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Romeo and Juliet Redux

vitruvian_man-001Out in the Dark is a 2012 film adaptation of Romeo and Juliet.

The two lovers meet early on and fall in love at first sight.  Only Juliet is another guy.

They come from warring families. Only the Capulet’s are Palestinians and Montague’s are Israelis.

They meet in a nether zone where identities are often obscured.  Only instead of a masked ball it’s a gay bar.

The plot gets thick when Juliet’s brother gets killed. Only the dead man is Juliet’s spiritual brother, killed by Juliet’s blood brother, who is also Mercutio, and also a terrorist.

The Duke knows all yet does nothing.

Friar Tuck is a mafia kingpin. But he does right by our entangled lovers. Who meet forever in the afterlife, which is the City of Light, if you are a romantic; or a prison if you are not.

I won’t say because the end is too perfect to spoil. Just watch Out in the Dark.  It’s fine Shakespeare.

imgres

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Grand Slam Yoga

awkward_pose_3-001The problem with an addiction, as any smoker, alcoholic, or licorice lover can attest; is that you need more of what you crave just to maintain.  If you want to bump up your high, you’ve got to increase the dose.

Although I love sweets and have to curtail my Coke Zeros to two a day, I never really thought of myself as an addictive personality until I started taking yoga seriously.  Five years ago a ninety-minute Bikram class left me feeble and famished, but once the sweat evaporated, I was euphoric. I went every day; I loved my groove.  There were so many opportunities to deepen my practice, my craving kept in line with my healthy addiction.  Somewhere during year two I would have classes that left me feeling good, but not great. Occasionally, I’d have a bad class; I’d walk out sore instead of shimmering.

I took to the occasional double –which always rekindled the magic. Then last fall I decided enough of the heat and the pain and I transferred to CorePower.  CorePower is more gentle, more fun, more holistic, more integrated yoga.  But it’s less sweat. It helps me feel good, sometimes great, but never euphoric.  Until yesterday.

CorePower offers four types of classes and yesterday my asana buddy Tyler and I took them all. I started with 6:00 am Scuplt, yo-robics led by the indomitable Shira. Despite being retired, I set my alarm every Monday and Tuesday morning because Shira’s workout beats mere sleep any day. Tyler joined me for 7:15 am C2, which is a 95 degree, steamy intermediate yoga class that varies by instructor. Yesterday Malissa was all twists and shoulders, much needed since the snowy, freezing winter has made us Cantabridgians uncharacteristically tense. My experience of these classes was not unique – pairing these back-to-back is my usual Monday routine.

Mid day I got a text from Tyler – he’d gone to the 9:30 a.m. Sculpt was up for rounding out the CorePower curriculum with two evening classes.

Hot Power Fusion is my favorite of all CorePower classes; like Bikram without the anger. When I set up my mat for the 5:30 p.m. class I didn’t expect it to be different from my usual HPF; it had been more than eight hours since my morning classes.  But the flexibility I earned in the morning lingered past dark.  Each pose was a little deeper, a little smoother, than my usual practice. The 104-degree heat wasn’t a challenge; it was a lubricant. I felt so mellow after class the only thing I wanted to do was more yoga, so I did.

Actually, I drank a lot of water, more than half a gallon, before settling back on my mat for the final CorePower class – C1, fundamentals. My logic in doing C1 last was that it’s the easiest, but it wound up being my most mentally intense. After three hours in the hot room, my body was putty; striking the poses was nothing.  But my mind was in a perpetual sauna; every thought beyond my mat and the mirror steamed out of my skull. My practice was fluid and deep.  When the final sabasana ended I didn’t feel the least bit tired. I could do it all again.

But I didn’t. Tyler came over for food and beer and ice cream and we talked until midnight.  But I still set my alarm for my Tuesday morning date with Shira. I groaned when the alarm went off, but once she put me through my paces, I was strong and alive once again.

Posted in Yoga | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

30 Tweets in 30 Days

vitruvian_man-001This is an article recently published in WBUR Cognoscenti http://cognoscenti.wbur.org/2014/03/04/learning-to-think-in-140-characters-paul-fallon

The marketing director of my architectural firm set up a Twitter account for me.  She explained how social media connections fit into the firm’s marketing strategy and described how to employ hash tags and ampersands. I tweeted whenever I spoke at a conference or published an article; I created automatic tweets whenever I posted a blog essay, but I never checked my Twitter feed.  After two years, I’d posted 88 tweets, I followed 19 others and 21 followed me. Considering over 100 million people check twitter every day, I was irrelevant.

“You’re doing this all wrong,” a writer friend told me.  “Don’t just tweet when you’re selling something, and never just tweet a link.” Elizabeth embraced the power of 140 characters. She explained how twitter exposed the American raid that killed Osama Bin Laden, announced the capture of the Boston Marathon bomber, and that Obama tweeted his reelection victory. She advised me to capitalize on the medium: post unique tweets; expand my twitter universe; promote less; tweet more; and for goodness sake, be funny. I decided to test her advice; I posted a fresh tweet every day for thirty days. With a month of regular tweeting is behind me; what did I learn?

1. Twitter is not facebook. Raves about my six-year-old nephew and pictures of snowmen may be the essence of facebook, but they don’t cut it on Twitter. Forget that Katy Perry has more followers (50+ million) than President Obama (41+ million); an imprimatur of gravity prevails. When I tweeted Just ate a bowl of #kale chips; maybe I’m doing too much #yoga; a so-called friend told me it was a lousy tweet.

2. No tweet is an island. Twitter is supposed to be conversational.  A tweet composed of mere text is a dead end. The more hashtags and ampersands I inserted, the more traction I got.  By the end of thirty days, every tweet had a link to an article or video. When I attended a lecture about Big Data’s affect on Journalism, I didn’t tweet journalist Paul McMorrow’s obvious quote that “the chart is the new nutgraph.” Instead, I was witty, statistical, and earned a retweet as reward. At #MassINCBigData conference – 200 people, 190 smart phones, 64 laptops, 8 pens + 1 reporter @paul_mcmorrow with pencil in his ear.

3. A 140-character worldview.  I find the hyper-abbreviated format of many tweets hieroglyphic; yet did not find 140 characters limiting. Within days, the idea that any situation had to be described in 140 characters evolved into the notion that any situation should be described that way. Eventually, the search for the perfect nugget trumped deeper exploration.  Twitter statistics, a burgeoning field of fine-grain chafing, report that tweets with links attached are retweeted 86% more often than those without. That may be true, but personal experience dictates that few of us actually hit those links.  The 140 characters imposed by the medium define the message. Though I included a link to my blog essay about the Columbia MD mall shootings, for most people, Shootings at #Mallincolumbia put bullet through 50 year old #americandream, says it all.

4. The search for content stirs curiosity.  More than once I was getting ready for bed when the groan on conscious reminded me that I was tweetless. Determined not just to post, but to post something relevant, I’d scan the newspaper or Internet seeking inspiration. Every tweet had to be about something that resonated with my interest. Sometimes the search for a tweet took me to unexpected places. I enjoyed profound sleep the night I penned, The most eloquent melding of life and death I’ve ever read. Ashes to Ashes.

The immediate question after a month of tweets is, do I have more Twitter followers?  And the answer is a resounding, yes – 2!

Although growing my following to a less-than-respectable 23 people is not indicative of success, I choose to analyze my experiment in a different way. After a month of tweets, my wariness at beholding the world from a 140-character point-of-view and embracing the triumph of clever over content are eclipsed by the fact that I enjoyed my twitter-filter. Just as a person with a camera sees the world differently because he’s constantly framing what’s included and what’s excluded from his view, so too I came to appreciate twitter’s restrictions. Sometimes it may oversimplify or distort, but more often twitter helped me clarify.

I’ll never have a big following; I’m neither a celebrity nor an expert. My tweets are as broad as my interests, and therefore too diffuse for a medium that celebrates focus. The value of them comes from the exploration they stimulate before I hit the send button. After that, they’re out of my control.

 

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Slow Boat from Battambang to Siem Reap

vitruvian_man-001There are two ways to get from Battambang, Cambodia to Siem Reap. The bus through Sisophon takes about three hours and costs $5.50. The boat along the Sangker River takes seven to nine hours, costs twenty dollars, and requires a five dollar tuk-tuk ride from its remote dock into town. A simple cost-benefit analysis favors the bus. But that would be a mistake, because the boat ride from Battambang to Siem Reap is a memorable journey.

The boat is scheduled to leave every morning at 7:00 a.m. from the dock near the Pharmacy along Route 156, just north of Battambang’s Route 5 bridge. It never does. My daughter Abby, who lives in Cambodia, took the boat in October, when water levels were high, yet passengers were bussed downstream and didn’t embark until 8:30 a.m. We took the trip together in mid-December, and despite reduced water levels, the boat left from town by 7:20 a.m.

Many Battambang hotels and restaurants sell boat tickets, but often charge $1 to $5 more than the $20 fare. We bought tickets dockside a day in advance when we were strolling along the river, but tickets can be purchased the morning of the trip. No matter how crowded the vessel, Cambodian’s never turn away a paying customer.

The boat is about forty feet long by ten feet wide with a metal canopy roof.  There are three areas to sit.  Below board, doublewide benches line each side of a center aisle.  Forward seats are preferred since the rear engine is very loud and the adjacent potty is odorous.  A few people squat on the open bow.  But the best seats are on the roof, away from the noise and in the breeze.

Cambodia was unseasonably cool last December, but Abby and I climbed on top and claimed a choice spot where the roof cants up to clear the engine below, thus creating a backrest. We were cold for the first hour, but once the weather turned warm we had the best perch.

Leaving Battambang, the Sangker River (also spelled Stung Sangke) is well defined. In December the houses on stilts sit high above the water, but the remains of structures washed out in rainy season litter both banks. Houseboats with canvas covers resembling covered wagons float near the shore.

The vessel is advertised as the fast boat to Siem Reap, but it’s not fast at all.  The boat stops often to pick up passengers or drop off packages. It’s the lifeline of the river dwellers. As we approach a hamlet, the captain horns a loud bellow, announcing a delivery. The boat slows and then treads water while a local paddles out to retrieve their sack of rice or vegetables.

Elegant banyan trees define river bends; the banks gradually diminish, until dry land sits mere inches above the water’s surface.  Houses on stilts give way to tents that local citizens pitch along the river and relocate as water levels change.  Some houseboats are attached to fantastic bamboo fishing derricks that lower giant nets into the shallows.

We stopped for snacks at Prey Chas. Back on board, every structure downstream hovered above the water. Each house had stairs that descended to floating docks and canoes. It was warm by now. We shed our sweatshirts and applied sunscreen; many other passengers joined us on the roof.

At one point the channel ran through a dense stand of trees; we all laid flat to avoid getting struck by the branches. Abby couldn’t remember that portion of the river, until she realized that in October she floated above the thicket. Within two months the water level had dropped many feet.

It took hours for the river merge with the open waters of Tonle Sap Lake. Banks receded to swamp and then to marsh, partially submerged trees testified that land was not far below. The rooftop passengers grew chatty. We met folks from Australia, Germany and Britain. Cambodian passengers remained below, except for a small boy who entertained everyone with his antics.

The final hour across Tonle Sap Lake was like crossing a watery desert. The horizon was so flat and the sky so vast.  Tiny images appeared blurry in the distance; fishing boats shimmered, elusive as the sleek fish they sought to catch.

A singular hill appeared to the north.  Abby announced, We are entering the insanity that is Siem Reap; folks who live in Cambodia don’t relish this giant tourist town.  Before we even docked, hungry salesmen hawking tuk-tuk rides jumped aboard and glued themselves to potential fares.  Ten dollars, eight dollars, six dollars.  Abby spooked them by replying in Khmer. We fetched a ride to our hotel for five bucks. The peace and reverie of the river was behind us, but not forgotten.

banks

Along the banks outside of Battambang

boat

The boat docks for a break.

derrick

Fishing derrick.

trees

Navigating between trees.

village

Floating Village

tonle sap

Arriving on Tonle Sap – the hill to the left marks the distant shore and Siem Reap.

Posted in Cambodia, Personal | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Visitor

usa-001When The Visitor slouched into theaters in 2007 (a film that opens on four screens total does not arrive with force) it earned a respectable niche.  The Visitor got good reviews, some indie awards; and Richard Jenkins (most famous for Six Feet Under) got an Oscar nod. The film evokes that dreaded word, ‘compelling’ because it works its way under your skin until, without realizing it; you care about these four people.

The middle-aged widower professor meets the flamboyant Syrian drummer and his wary Senegalese girlfriend when he shows up at his rarely used Washington Square coop only to find some never seen huckster has usurped the place to harbor illegals. Eventually the drummer’s iron-willed mother rounds out the quartet. Each of the characters is drawn deeper than these few adjectives describe; each is attracted to the other as a human being yet cast against the other according to the arbitrary borders of our world. The three illegal characters embody the elemental sprit of America; while the protagonist is so unmoored from meaning he is numb to the advantages of American citizenship, affluent ease, arcane intellectualizing, and a nifty Manhattan apartment that he owns but never uses.

There was too much of me in the Richard Jenkins character for me to like him. I kept rooting for the three immigrants, each so angry, talented, funny, and full of life. I wanted the romantic comedy touches to play out; for everyone to form the big happy family we deserve. But The Visitor is not a comedy; it is a mirror on the world as it is.  And so, in the end, the fate of the three immigrants is tragic, while the hapless American gets what he wants, an ending all the more prophetic because, if not for the three sojourners who showed him the way, the lost soul would still be breathing but barely existing in Connecticut. The white American male always wins.

Which brings me to the title. Who is The Visitor?  Is it the illegal who gets tossed back from when he came, the middle aged woman who arrives mid-way through to sear the hole in Richard Jenkins heart, or is it Richard Jenkins himself, who happens upon souls who are truly alive through the serendipity of a deed. He is the person made whole and new.

imgres

The Visitor

 

Posted in United States | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Yin Meditation

awkward_pose_3-001My daughter and I spent a week at the Hariharalaya Retreat Center in Bakong, Cambodia. Everyone staying there hailed from North America, Europe or Australia; most on extended sojourns to a patch of the world where a sabbatical year is cheap and exotic. Hariharalaya’s campus is funky, the staff warm, the vegan food good, and the daily rhythm rich: yoga and meditation interspersed with free time.

Abby lives in Cambodia, I was visiting, and Hariharalaya allowed us to infuse our sightseeing with some reflection. Abby is a regular yogi but wanted to refresh her practice, as she has no partners in the small village where she lives. I just finished a four-year stint of daily Bikram and was seeking a broader yoga expression.  However, I had little meditation experience, and was anxious at the prospect of sitting silent and cross-legged three times a day.

At the first evening’s meditation I sat up straight, but my mind wandered.  In proper meditation, if there is such a thing, thoughts flow but don’t stick. Unfortunately, the minutiae of my life littered my brain like syrupy shards of glass in a recycling bin.

The following morning we chanted.  I should clarify; they chanted. All sorts of Om’s and Hari’s.  It seemed so juvenile I could have laughed, but I didn’t out of fear that Abby got something from all this. I was so glad when the annoying noise stopped that my focus during silent meditation improved. I sat quiet, breathed deep, and if my mind stuck on an old argument from work, I persevered.

The next morning’s chant produced more odd Hindi vowels that I didn’t utter. The final chant, however, was in English. It was so absurd I couldn’t help but join in. Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

At first I sang quiet, then I swayed a bit, then I jumped among the rounds.  The sounds formed in my mouth, bounced off the inside of my cheeks, and exploded forth. I realized this nursery rhyme is an excellent chant, simple and cryptic and fixed in the present.

Once cracked open, I was receptive to the dharma talk that followed. Meditation is like rowing your boat. It requires work and surrender, effort and flow.  If all we have is effort, then we push against everything, even ourselves.  We tire out.  We need to flow with the current, to follow the path of the stream.  But if we just flow without effort, we get pulled into eddies or stuck along the shore.  We become lazy, we never reach our destination.  Meditation is the same.  It requires effort, concentration, focus, and presence. At the same time, it requires surrender and flow.

The next day, Amy, Hariharalaya’s yoga teacher, led us through yin postures in preparation for the evening meditation.  For a man steeped in the Bikram tradition, yin is a revelation. Simple postures, held a long time, at good depth, inducing regular, conscious breathing.  After an hour of these poses, my breath was so calm and expansive I didn’t tense up when Amy announced a forty-five minute meditation.  I just kept breathing.

I breathed loud, at least in my own head. I drew my ribs up on the inhale and, in defiance of physics, they continued up on the exhale. My core ascended and floated like a balloon. I didn’t count the breaths but they continued without measure, each containing a long, sustained life of its own.  Light flickered within my third eye. Perhaps it was the dwindling twilight; perhaps it was a synapse ricocheting in my brain. I rooted into my sits bones; consciousness escaped my head; it flooded the hollow of my belly.

I lost time and space.  My breath became enormous; it smothered any intruding memory or fantasy. I could have hyperventilated, but didn’t.  Unconscious breaths took an eternity to draw in and spell out. I’m hallucinating, I thought.  And as soon as that concept formed, my ecstasy deflated. When I abandoned the mind, my being soared, until instability triggered specific thoughts that grounded me again.  The gong chimed.  Forty-five minutes passed in an instant.  There was distant noise. People rustled about. Amy spoke.  Nothing registered in me.  Aha, I realized as my mind reengaged, this is real meditation. But the more I tried to remember it, the less I could reclaim.

IMG_0455

Hariharalaya Retreat Center

IMG_0465

Abby at Hariharalaya

Posted in Cambodia, Yoga | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Chinese Noodle

vitruvian_man-001During a recent trip to Cambodia my daughter and I visited Battambang twice – en route from Abby’s home village of Kra Kor to Siem Reap, and on our return trip. During those two brief stays we ate at Chinese Noodle five times.  According to Abby there are other good restaurants in Cambodia’s funky second city, including the well-known White Rose next door, but we never crossed their thresholds. Whether it’s lunch, dinner or take-out, Abby’s heart belongs to Chinese Noodle.

Chinese Noodle is a storefront on Street #2.  The metal grate rises early in the morning and stays up past midnight.  Customers walk past a half-height wall with a glass shield where the chef creates his magic for the entire street to see. He pulls dough into strands like taffy, then rakes it into long noodles or cuts it into small discs, which get dolloped with pork or vegetable and then are pinched into a dumpling shaped like a Hershey’s kiss but twice the size. Next to him is a giant pot of broth that simmers all day. The prep line ends at the portable hot plate where his wife pan-fries dumplings or scallion pancakes.

Inside, tables for four line each wall.  Each table has an assortment of sauces in squirt jars. The chef’s wife, who doubles as waitress, delivers a pot of tea and hands out a simple menu sheet. Abby doesn’t need to look at it.  She orders us a dozen pork dumplings, a scallion pancake, a pork soup bowl for me and a chicken bowl for her.  By our third visit I protest that we don’t need so much food, and we forego the pancake.  But when our neighbor gets one and we remember how delicate and crisp it is, we order one anyway. Occasionally we mix it up with vegetable dumplings or a fried noodle entree. I have never tasted such light and flavorful pasta.

Almost every dish costs $1.50 U.S.; a few cost less, none cost more.  Chinese Noodle has a refrigerator case where customers can buy a cold beer or soft drink. A can of Angkor costs a buck, but most meals we just drink tea, which is free and plentiful.

One evening we run into one of Abby’s fellow Peace Corps volunteers at Chinese Noodle. Battambang is the primary escape for volunteers in northwest Cambodia who need a bit of urban life, and Chinese Noodle is their unofficial headquarters. Although a few Cambodians frequent Chinese Noodle, most the clientele is twenty-something ex-pats.

There doesn’t appear to be any line between the owner’s private life and Chinese Noodle. Their young daughter skips among the tables and charms diners.  One evening I needed to use the facilities, and they directed me a toilet room that required I walk through their bedroom. If I had known in advance I might have squirmed a bit longer, but they didn’t seem to mind.

The only downside to Chinese Noodle is that its two hours away from Abby’s home village, and she can go a month or more without a visit to Battambang. How to assuage her Chinese Noodle cravings?  She gets delivery.  The bus system in Cambodia part public conveyance, part postal service, part UPS.  Abby calls Chinese Noodle, orders a dozen dumplings, gets it bicycled to Battambang’s bus station and delivered to Kra Kor.  She admits that four-hour cold dumplings are not as good as the ones hot off the skillet, but when her taste buds have been deadened by rice, rice and more rice, they’re still very tasty.  What does such elaborate delivery cost?  About thirty cents.

IMG_0474

IMG_0480IMG_0186The wonders of Chinese Noodle

Posted in Cambodia, Personal | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment